like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
