she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
