Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
