My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
