Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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