A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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