what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I need a beard to bite.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
