I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
