ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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