That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
This is the high leading the old right now
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
