then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
