With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
