I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize