Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
