If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
