You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
