I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Drake has all the answers
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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