One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
