All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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