How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
