Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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