Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
