that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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