Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
