Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
