Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
