I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
