i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
