Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
