Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We have started to decorate penises.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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