i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
