Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
