me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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