I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
