she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
