dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
