Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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