I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
