ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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