Pappa wants mamma naked
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
