I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize