Are we in a gay sports bar?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
