I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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