No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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