Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
