I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
it's great music for shaving your balls
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
