I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
