he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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