I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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