Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
