My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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