Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
