You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize