i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
