thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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