He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
