Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
