I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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